Every startup founder dreams of the day someone finally sees them. Not just their pitch deck, not their business plan, but their essence.
Unfortunately, for many of us, the first person to truly “get it” isn’t a brilliant entrepreneur, a seasoned VC, or even your mom after a long conversation and a whiteboard. Nope. It’s a conman consultant who’s watched one too many Tony Robbins clips and wants to be your Chief Business Development Guru. (Yes, that’s a real title. No, it shouldn’t be…)
Ah, the business founder. That rare, mythical beast who survives on coffee, ambition, and the gnawing suspicion that no one really gets them.
You have a vision. A product. A dream. And what did the world give you? Skepticism. Investors with vacant stares. Team members who keep asking for “structure and coordination.” A co-founder who starts every sentence with “playing devil’s advocate…”
And then, just when you’re at your lowest, questioning your purpose, contemplating a spontaneous “sabbatical” in the Arctic, he arrives.
The Consultant.
Not just any consultant. A Visionary Alignment Strategist. A Founder Whisperer. A Brand Shaman. He tells you what you’ve desperately needed to hear: “You are not the problem. It’s them, they don’t understand you”,
You blink. He nods. You’re hooked.
It can also start with a LinkedIn message that reads less like a professional intro and more like a soft-core love letter: “I’ve been watching your journey, Your vision is purely disruptive. I don’t usually reach out like this but, I felt called”.
You ignore it. Then he follows up with: “I think you’re building something commercially aligned with where the world is going. You shouldn’t be doing it alone.”
It started innocently enough. You were vulnerable. Tired. Emotionally malnourished after your 73rd investor call ended with “we’ll be in touch”. Your product is misunderstood. Your genius ignored. And then, he slid into your DMs. You feel seen. Which is exactly how romance scams start. Not a Match. Worse. A consultant.
Sometimes the romance can start up as a blind date, suggested by friends, because you know, he’s always a good laugh in the pub and he went to school with Elon Musk and was a former chief financial officer at the Bank of Bob !!
Much like that suspiciously charming Italian “crypto investor” who says you have the eyes of a goddess and then asks for your bank details, our friend the Conman Consultant goes in hard and fast:
- “Your product isn’t just a solution, it’s trail blazing for the industry.”
- “You’re not just a founder, you’re a channel for innovation.”
- “This company isn’t a startup, it’s a revolution waiting to be stewarded by someone who truly understands scale.”
And guess what? That someone is them.
Romance scammers don’t target the weak, they target the emotionally available. Same with conmen consultants. They prey on founders who:
- Feel unappreciated by their teams.
- Feel ghosted by investors.
- Have no one in their life who actually really understands what they’re building.
These consultants don’t solve your business problems, they offer emotional surrogacy. They don’t peddle deliverables; they peddle validation. And you’re not buying services, you’re buying the feeling of being seen. How is that going to help your business?
As for the ones who claim they have experience in the industry and contacts with VCs, wake up and smell the roses Dave, if this was real, would they be trawling the internet looking for business? If they really went to school with Elon Musk, why haven’t they picked the phone up to tell him about your innovation? I know I would have… if I was still in touch with my old school pal Elon and believed you had truly developed the best thing since sliced bread.
At first, he just offers to “help.” A few calls. A bit of messaging or business plan cleanup. A sexy Ideas board full of made-up funnels like:
- “The Vibration-Aligned Go-to-Market Framework™”
- “Founder-Led Frequency Optimization”
- “The Synergy Stack (Based on Ancient Babylonian Sales Wisdom)”
Then, plot twist: he drops the bomb of a monthly retainer or he’s manipulated you into thinking he’s the only person who can deliver the sales you need.
By now, he’s spammed you with so many ChatGPT created reports or made sure he’s the only one who joins in on that investment call and follows up with more AI generated pages that you are so blinded by his dedication that you feel you need to offer him a seat on the Board as well as shares for all his hard work…
Romance scammers slowly erode boundaries by pretending to be everything you’ve been missing. This guy does the same thing, just with pitch decks and regular Zooms calls instead of hot males pictures stolen off the internet and promises to fly over and visit (providing his black Amex doesn’t get stolen the day he was going to book the flight).
He’ll:
- Exploit your loneliness as a founder.
- Parrot your own ideas back to you, but with “energy” and Canva (they love tools that help them look good!).
- Position himself as the only one who “really sees and believes” in your genius.
It’s not a scam in the legal sense, it’s a scam in the emotional sense. Like a Hallmark movie written by a sociopath with a marketing degree.
Eventually, you wake up. Maybe it’s when he introduces himself as “Chief Business Development Architect” during a call with your biggest lead, who then asks why you have employed someone with a negative business track record to close your B2B deals.
Because I can guarantee you won’t listen to your partner’s gut instinct when you speak about this guru, let alone any of the others in your team who equally don’t trust him any further than they can throw a grand piano…
Whatever the reason, you cut him loose. And just like a jilted Tinder scammer, he spirals so beware, because some won’t go quietly. Block. Delete. Tell the person who gave you that “referral”.
Don’t give a job title to the first guy who validates your founder wounds and dangles carrots. Especially if he wants to be your spiritual twin and your CBDO. That’s not synergy, it’s emotional co-dependency with a Slack channel.
Some people get catfished on dating apps. You, dear founder, got catfished by a consultant. Don’t marry the first person who makes you feel special. Some consultants help; you’ll rarely get a slot to speak with them for a period of days; they are busy because they deliver.
Others just move in, raid the fridge, and call themselves cofounders. These ones will be available at the click of your fingers because they have no other clients, no one wants them and neither should you…
Swipe responsibly. And if Brad Pitt asks you to be his girlfriend, run girl, run !!
Photo by Karl Moor
