A Reminder to Reach Out to Friends….

Today, I woke up to a friend leaving the rugby chat group because they weren't in a good place and needed to come off social media because they were close to snapping and doing something stupid.  Within twenty minutes, another person said they needed to go to the beach today in order to try and "unfry" their brain... Now I've just seen another person say they are having trouble getting out of bed from a mental perspective.

Maybe it's just Mondayitis or the fact that it's not yet payday, but all this has reminded me that it's time to pause and get in touch with people I know but who have been quiet for a while. 

Reaching out to friends who may be feeling down is an important and compassionate gesture. It can provide much-needed support and comfort, reminding them that they are not alone and that's the most important part. I find that people can sometimes feel overwhelmed and almost freeze on the social side at times. 

Even a simple "Hi, not been in touch for a bit, so how are you" can just open the door for conversation, even though it may take them a few days to get back to you. When they do, read their reply carefully and have a think; were they just busy or is something not quite right? If it's the latter, then it's best to reply with a comment that encourages them to continue opening up.

At some point, you can offer to help if it's appropriate by suggesting a meet up, doing something together that you've both enjoyed in the past even if it's just going to a film. Alternatively you could ask if they need anything done like you having their kids for a sleep over so they can have a quiet night in with their partner. 

But if you feel that they aren't ready to talk, respect their space, remind them that you're there and make a point of contacting them again within a period of time. 

Look back in your diary and find something you've done in earlier this year and send them a message saying something like "I was in the park and it reminded me of the time when...." Hopefully this can bring a smile to their face and remind them of something that you both enjoyed together. 

If it's someone you've worked with in the past, you could always ask for help with something or their advice (even if you don't really need it), a quick zoom is easy to arrange when you're both free in the evening or at the weekend and once you've done the work thing, the convo can go on from there. 

It may take time for them to get over whatever is upsetting them so we have to be patient and understand that we may not see "improvements" straight away; this applies in particular to anyone who is going through some personal loss whatever that might be.

When we are feeling down, it's easy to imagine that others have decided that we are not worthy which makes things worse but can also make us reluctant to reach out or even accept a hand when it is first offered. 

Just be a friend, listen without judging and show them you care about them and value them as a person; it's normally referred to as unconditional love but also applies to friendship.