When one of your friends goes quiet out of the blue and without any explanation, it can be unsettling as we tend to worry. If you ask around, a lot of people may say that you’ve been ghosted, however, this may not always be the case; that person may just be:
- Taking Space.
- Not Wanting to talk.
- Setting boundaries to protect themself, possibly from toxic behaviour from a third party or work situation.
- Dealing with uncomfortable feelings or thoughts or conflict.
We all have issues with our emotional health and life is always a roller coaster; but not hearing back from someone after them either not answering their phone or replying to a message can put our body into panic or fight mode. When we reach out again, it helps to ask a direct question but in a kind way, eg:
Hi, you’ve been quiet, so I am going to assume it’s not anything I’ve done wrong and you just need some space. I’ll reach out in a few days; meantime take care.
If you’re the person who has gone quiet, if you care about someone, try to tell them you need some space so they don’t feel rejected or spend time wondering if they have done anything wrong. If you don’t, not only are you making them feel bad through no fault of their own, but you also put yourself in the mindset that you either need to get back in touch asap (pressure you don’t need) or end up feeling that it’s been too long and it makes you hesitate about getting back in touch for fear of any conflict or because you feel too much time has lapsed.
I know it can be hard to open up and say you’re going through a bad patch, but when you truly care about someone, please try not let pride or fear prevent you from telling them. If someone values you and your friendship, they won’t allow time to affect your connection and they will understand your need for space. It can strengthen the bond of understanding as well and that’s good for you both.
Photo by Alexander Grey
