Did Your Childhood Make You Feel You Didn’t “Fit In” ?

September 30, 2023

Listening to a lecture today on the “self” and the fact that children can grow up believing that they are “not good enough” made me wonder about the following:

1. How are children from parents who have emigrated to a country where they are different physically  affected?  I don’t think they need to have suffered from racism per se, but in a society that makes us want to conform, how many children look at their friends and think “I wish I …”?

2. We have all heard of the stereotypical “jock” being able to chat up all the good looking girls in secondary school, while those who weren’t physically tall and well built were left feeling these girls were out of their league.

3. Equally, how many girls grow up believing they are not attractive because they are not blond haired and blue eyed? Or because they prefer to have short hair and not wear micro skirts?

4. We often see the results of children celebrating their perfect A* scores and talking about going into medical school, but why isn’t it newsworthy to feature the pupil with Bs and Cs who also gets into the college of their choice?

5. What about the child born into a family of classical musicians who is tone deaf and may be made to correct this by spending hours practising their scales on the piano to no avail?

With so many of us carrying hidden burdens stemming from negative childhood mental health, is this something that has always been there and not spoken about?

Or was it simply because, in the past, most of us didn’t get made to feel out of place in our micro society such as home towns and there was less competition?

Have you found yourself struggling to be the person you didn’t recognise, simply because you felt you had to conform?

What have been your experiences and how can we help our children/grandchildren grow up with less of these lack of self worth burdens?





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