Online interactions can be… interesting. One minute you’re having an ordinary chat, the next you’re being courted by someone who seems to think moving the conversation to a different app is a sign of their growing interest in you.
I had exactly this experience recently. It started innocuously enough: a casual conversation on a social platform. Then came the subtle escalations: questions about my marital status followed by emotional declarations that were completely innapropriate for someone who had only know me a few days. Then they started repeated attempts to persuade me to continue the chat on other apps… The red flags had been waving pretty hard prior to this, so I told him that I explicitly refuse to use Messenger and WhatsApp, because of security concerns. He tried the cutesy approach: Awww, cmon… I refused again and said here or nothing.
Yeah right, like I am even remotely interested in talking on a chat app with someone I don’t know
He claimed to be from Texas and used a picture of a good-looking man in his late 40s, yet was always a bit vague about weekend plans, Then out of the blue he messaged “Alaye”
I replied “???”
he immediately tried to change the subject, so I decided to google it and found that it is used in Nigerian Pidgin English. The word means “bro , but is sometimes used in scam circles as a marker of familiarity, a bit like a secret handshake.
I decided to ask him if he thought I was a scammer. He went quiet for a few minutes then replied “do some calms” – hardly idiomatic english you would expect from a Texan. This was clearly a pressure tactic disguised as casual advice (patronising so and so!), but showed that when confronted, he dropped the mask and his lack of Tex Speak.
At that point, he tried the old “I’ve been scammed a lot” line, a classic manipulation move, shifting the spotlight onto his supposed vulnerability while trying to soften the boundary I had clearly set. My response was final: “ChatGPT says I need to tell you ‘Shikena’,” then reported him as a scammer, blocked him, and removed the chat.
What’s remarkable here isn’t just that I dodged a potential romance scam; once these scammers get access to your telephone number or social media account, their goal is always to isolate, control, or gain access, sometimes for hacking or financial exploitation.
It’s worth taking note of the pattern: sudden intimacy, platform hopping, pressure, language quirks, and boundary-testing. Observing these behaviours and responding calmly is far more effective than getting drawn into arguments or playing cat and mouse. Always prioritise safety.
If there’s a takeaway for online users, it’s this: stay factual, stick to observable behaviour, enforce boundaries firmly, and don’t let charm, odd words, or emotional claims distract you.
