In a world where kale smoothies and goat yoga are praised as pinnacles of wellness, one humble hero has been lurking in the shadows, ignored, maligned, bleeped out of daytime television. But no more. Today, we gather here, to raise our middle finger in solidarity and shout: Long live Lalochezia!
Yes, Lalochezia. The scientifically endorsed, therapeutically potent, potty-mouthed phenomenon where dropping a well-timed expletive does more for your soul than a three-hour meditation with a mindfulness coach from your last network group.
Lalochezia derives from the ancient Greek “lalos” (speech) and “chezo” (to relieve oneself), literally meaning “relieving oneself through speech.” So in modern lingo, it’s a word that applies to that not so glorious moment when you stub your toe, scream a colorful string of syllables that would make a sailor blush, and suddenly feel better. It’s pain relief. It’s emotional catharsis. It’s verbal ibuprofen.
According to people in lab coats who have probably never yelled at a Lego in the dark, swearing can reduce physical pain. One study even found that people could keep their hands in ice water longer while swearing. Ice water! That’s practically a torture method.
So the next time you bang your funny bone and instinctively shout something that rhymes with “duck,” don’t apologize. You’re not being crass, you’re participating in a neurobiological coping strategy.
Let’s face it. Thanks to the algorithm, small talk is almost dead. Nobody wants to hear about the weather or what Sharon from HR did at Dave’s goodbye bash at the pub. But a well-timed curse word? That’s real life. That’s your soul screaming out, “I’m alive, and I just stepped on Lego !”
When your toddler smears peanut butter into your keyboard? When your dog decides 3 a.m. is the perfect time to bark at a squirrel ghost?
When the conman consultant says, “Let’s circle back”? Lalochezia is there for you, like a sweary, furious guardian angel; even better when you can say it whilst smiling at the offender…
Isn’t it time to reclaim swearing from the shadows of shame by stopping to pretending we’re above it ? Because nothing says “emotional repression” like stubbing your toe and muttering, “Oh dear me.”
No. Let it out. Set it free. Sing the sacred chant of the aggrieved: “£@#& this.” !!
So go forth, brave verbal warrior. Use your curse words with pride and power. Make each expletive count. And remember: next time someone gasps and says, “Language!” you can calmly respond, “It’s called Lalochezia. I’m basically self-medicating d%(&* ^)d !
Photo by Xavi Cabrera
