Have you ever noticed how sometimes a song plays at just the right moment, shifting the entire mood of a conversation or how you feel or just answering a question that have been on your mind?
This came up in conversation with a close friend on Sunday, while we were talking about choosing the right songs for her dad’s funeral. She told me she had been driving, thinking about it all, when a song came on, one her dad used to sing to her mum; it was almost like the Universe was sending her a message…
Last night, I had a similar experience when someone I was chatting with on WA asked me to stop sending voice messages because, as they put it: “it’s delectable (PS. I’m smiling).” As this song played in the background, I decided to let Robert Palmer do the talking for a moment instead…
When something like this happens, it’s almost as though the music itself carries meaning, altering the course of your thoughts and interactions. This phenomenon may be nothing more than just coincidence, but there’s something powerful at play when music can influence the way we think, act, and communicate.
One of the key reasons music has this power is its ability to tap directly into our emotions and unconscious mind. Our brains process music in multiple ways, and these processes affect us on a deeper level than we might initially realise. When a song begins to play during a conversation or a situation, it can subtly shift the mood by affecting our emotional state, which in turn influences how we respond.
Music is capable of evoking a range of emotions: joy, nostalgia, sadness, excitement, and even a sense of calm. These emotions can quickly shift our mindset, altering the course of what we might say or how we might behave. For example, imagine you’re in a tense discussion, and a soothing melody begins to play in the background. The calm rhythm could lower stress levels, making you more open to listening and finding common ground. Alternatively, a song with an upbeat tempo could make you feel more energetic or motivated, leading you to respond more enthusiastically or take a more assertive stance; I love to cook dancing to music and as I have mentioned before, I am that annoying person who will keep the radio on in a supermarket carpark if a great tune is playing on the radio!
This ability to impact behaviour through music is rooted in something known as “musical priming.” Priming is a psychological phenomenon where exposure to a certain stimulus influences how we respond to a subsequent one. In the case of music, a song that reminds us of a positive or significant experience can act as a subtle trigger, changing the way we think and feel in the present moment. For example, a song that reminds you of a romantic relationship might influence how you express affection in a current conversation, even if it’s not directly related.
Furthermore, music often plays a central role in setting the tone of a social environment, which can have a profound effect on how we communicate. Think about how different settings, like a romantic dinner, a celebration, or a party, are often paired with specific genres of music. The rhythm, melody, and lyrics of the song don’t just complement the event; they guide the emotional experience and social dynamics. This influence can help create an unspoken connection or make certain conversations feel more significant. When music taps into shared cultural references or personal memories, it can deepen relationships by triggering a sense of understanding or solidarity between people.
Even beyond the obvious emotional triggers, music has a subtle way of shaping the tempo of interactions. In a fast-paced conversation, a quick, energetic song might spur people to speak more quickly or assertively. In contrast, a slow, reflective piece could cause everyone to pause and consider their words more carefully. The timing and nature of the music affect the rhythm of dialogue, making people more likely to adapt their communication style to match the energy of the song.
This connection between music and conversation is also why many people turn to music during moments of transition or decision-making. Whether it’s a significant change in life or a pivotal moment in a conversation, music can provide the emotional backdrop that helps guide us through these experiences. It’s almost as though the music acts as a prompt, reminding us of the bigger picture or helping us tap into emotions that lead to clearer insights.
So why does music seem to have so much significance in these moments? It’s because music is inherently tied to our emotional and psychological landscape. It acts as a bridge between our internal world and the external world, helping us make sense of our experiences and relationships. Whether it’s encouraging us to speak with more confidence, think more deeply, or bond with others, music has an undeniable power to influence us in ways we might not fully understand but certainly feel.
Next time you notice that a song has altered the course of a conversation or made you look at a situation differently, take a moment to appreciate the role it’s playing in your life. Music isn’t just a background noise; it’s a powerful tool for shaping the way we connect, communicate, and navigate the world around us.
There’s also a fascinating way in which music can seem to foretell the return of someone, especially when it’s happened repeatedly in your life. This can feel almost uncanny, like the universe is sending you a signal through the soundtrack of your everyday moments. Perhaps you’ve noticed a certain song playing just before an old friend calls you, or a melody that surfaces just before someone you’ve been missing makes an unexpected return.
It’s as though the music somehow knows before you do that something is about to shift, creating an emotional resonance that matches the timing of an event. This kind of synchronicity is more than just coincidence, because it’s happened too many times for me in connection with someone special. It’s a reminder of how music, memories, and relationships intertwine in ways that go beyond logic. The songs you associate with a person often form part of an emotional tapestry, and when they resurface, it can feel like the emotional space they occupy is being reawakened. In this sense, music doesn’t just remind us of people; sometimes, it seems to anticipate their return, making their presence feel even more significant when they do come back into our lives.
“My heart is with you” – as mine is with you Pooh Bear…
Photo by Adrian Korte
