Once upon a time, in a green and pleasant land not all that long ago, people more or less knew how to behave. You held the door open for someone. You said “thank you” when someone passed the salt. And if a stranger dropped their wallet, you picked it up and handed it back without needing a GDPR-compliant chain of custody form.
These days? We’ve got entire policy documents devoted to basic decency. Workplace codes of conduct, community behaviour charters, multi-slide PowerPoint presentations entitled “Kindness in the Modern Office: A Strategic Framework.”
You now need an app to remind you to drink water. A smartwatch to tell you to stand up and breathe. And laminated HR signage in the kitchen explaining how not to scream at Dave from Procurement because he microwaved fish.. again.
At some point, we decided that being a decent human being was no longer intuitive, and needed to be managed via official guidance, compliance modules, and at least two committee meetings. We’ve created policies for:
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Not shouting at the barista when your flat white takes 90 seconds
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Not replying-all to a group email unless you’ve undergone proper training
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Not attempting to “circle back” 14 times in one day (you know who you are)
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And not, under any circumstances, attempting small talk in a lift or making eye contact (i’m so dead, I talk to everyone!)
Empathy used to be instinctive. Now it’s a bullet point on your annual performance review: “displays emotional intelligence in group settings” (translation: don’t start a passive-aggressive Teams chat war with Claire from Finance; you know she needs your expenses receipts to process that claim form).
Children don’t need policies to be kind. One toddler sees another toddler cry, they wander over and hand them a half-chewed biscuit. That’s caring and sharing. No training required. No onboarding manual.
But now? Oh no. Now you need Policy 7.3.1, Subsection B, which outlines “Acceptable Behaviour in Shared Spaces and Communal Fridge Usage.” To be fair, not all policies are bad, as they do keep Martin in IT from plugging his air fryer in at his desk. Policies can be useful. But they shouldn’t be the only thing keeping us from being awful to each other and our employers butts covered in an industrial tribunal case.
Maybe, just maybe, we don’t need more rules. We need more reminders that being a decent human is not a legal obligation. It’s just… being human. So how about:
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Replacing “Vision Statements” with a sign that says “Don’t Be a Prat”
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Trashing the 17-page “Internal Conflict Escalation Flowchart” and go with: “Talk it out over a pint or latte. Listen. Apologise if you cocked it up. Bring donuts.”
Because deep down, we do still know how to be human. We’ve just buried it under risk assessments, policy updates, and the seventh reminder this month to complete your mandatory training on “Office Kettle Safety Awareness.”
So the next time you’re tempted to fire off a snippy email, tut loudly at a french tourist for queue jumping or pretend not to see Sharon struggling with a buggy, three bags of shopping and a runaway toddler on the bus… pause and ask yourself:
Do we really need a formal code of conduct for this? Or have we just collectively forgotten how to be kind?
Photo by The 77 Human Needs System
