Do We Really Have a “Type” When It Comes to Looks in Relationships?
It’s a question that often gets tossed around during late-night chats with friends or the early stages of dating: Do you have a type? Usually, we’re talking about looks. Tall, dark and handsome. Blonde and blue-eyed. Curly-haired with a crooked smile. Glasses. Tattoos. You get the idea.
But is it real? Do we actually have a “type” when it comes to physical appearance, or is that just something we tell ourselves because it makes sense of the people we’ve chosen in the past?
Psychologists suggest that yes, many people do show patterns in who they’re attracted to. We might not consciously set out with a checklist, but there can be common threads in the people who catch our eye. These patterns are influenced by everything from biology to pop culture, childhood associations to simple familiarity. We’re often drawn to what feels comfortable or recognisable, even if we don’t know why.
Sometimes, “type” is a story we cling to out of habit. Maybe we dated a brunette once and it went well, so we kept chasing brunettes. Or we convince ourselves we’re into rugged, stubbled types (guilty as charged!) because we once had a crush on a film character who looked like that. It’s not always about genuine attraction, but rather the comfort of a narrative.
Interestingly, when people fall in love, “type” tends to melt away. That carefully curated ideal suddenly doesn’t matter when someone surprises you with their kindness, their humour, or their sheer presence. You might have sworn off gingers, or said you’d never date someone shorter than you, and then there they are, completely captivating, not ticking any of your “type” boxes and still entirely your person.
This is why “type” is better seen as a trend, not a rule. We might lean towards certain looks, but it’s rarely a hard limit. And if it is, it’s worth asking why. Is it preference, or is it prejudice? Is it personal, or have we absorbed a standard we’ve never questioned?
Love has a way of expanding our taste. The more you get to know someone, the more beautiful they become. The quirk that seemed odd on a stranger becomes something you miss when they’re gone. The smile, the sound of their voice, the shape of their hands, the fact that they like to snuggle and watch movies together… These become part of the picture of someone you start to love. And that, more than any “type,” is what really draws us in.
So, do we have a type? Maybe. But don’t let it blind you. The right person might look nothing like what you imagined, and everything like what you really need.
Photo by Oziel Gómez
