I had a lovely catch up with a veteran this morning and during our conversation he mentioned having seen a different side to someone whose podcasts I have followed over the past year. It left me wondering why someone who goes to great lengths to be thoughtful and unafraid of being vulnerable of his humble beginnings on his podcasts and TV appearances would have behaved in the way that my friend had seen.
So why do people turn arrogant when they have made it in their work life? Here are a few reasons why success sometimes leads to arrogance:
- Increased Validation and Attention: With success, people often receive more praise, admiration, and validation from others. This attention can create a sense of superiority, especially if they start to associate their worth only with achievements. Over time, this can shift self-perception, leading them to feel they’re “better than” others who haven’t reached the same level of success.
- Fear of Losing Status: Once someone reaches a high level, they may fear losing that status. Arrogance can become a protective stance to guard against perceived threats. By appearing overly confident or dismissive of others, they may try to solidify their position and avoid seeming vulnerable.
- Confirmation Bias: Success can create an echo chamber of positive feedback, especially if people around them tend to agree with or flatter them. This constant reinforcement can lead them to believe their ideas or actions are always right, and they may become less receptive to alternative viewpoints or feedback.
- Associating Self-Worth with Achievement: When self-worth is overly tied to success, people may feel a need to continually prove they’re “special” or “unique.” Arrogance may stem from an inability to separate personal value from external accomplishments, leading them to inflate their ego as a way of reinforcing their self-image.
- Pressure and Burnout: Success often comes with more responsibility, stress, and scrutiny. This pressure can make people defensive or irritable, and they might become dismissive toward others as a way to cope with their own struggles. Arrogance can sometimes be a mask for insecurity or a shield against feeling overwhelmed.
- Lack of Balance and Humbling Experiences: Without regular reality checks or grounding influences (such as honest friendships, mentors, or other interests outside of their success), people may lose perspective. They might start to see their achievements as proof of their overall superiority and downplay the role of hard work, luck, or support from others.
I know from his podcasts that he and his partner are trying for a family; I hope your children are able to ground you again and you don’ t turn them into kids who are rude and disrespectful to others.
